LIBIDO is one of those elusive topics that frustrates many singles and couples. It’s also a subject that comes up quite a lot in my 1-to-1-coaching. There's a common belief that you either have it or you don't, and that it’s either too high or too low. And this tough walnut of a topic can be especially frustrating if there is a mismatch of libidos within your relationship. Can you relate?
Well, the good news is that everybody has the ability to develop a stronger libido if they feel that their sex drive is on the lower side. And conversely, everyone has the ability to manage their sexual energy so that it doesn’t frustrate them if their libido is the opposite and errs on the higher side.
"This is one of the wonderful benefits of Tantra – by learning the steps to cultivate and strengthen your libido, you are also discovering the innate ability that everybody has to channel their sexual energy. In mastering your libido, it then becomes the primary driver of your health, wellness and clarity. This skill is also what connects you more deeply with your partner. And if you’re single, learning to manage your libido is how we channel our sexual urges so that we can reuse this energy (our life force) more positively. This is the foundation for our daily vitality - rather than our sexuality frustrating us." - Francesca @ Sparkle Tantra
So let's unpack the very complex topic of libido by looking at some of the factors that can reduce your sexual energy. This will give us some clues on how to strengthen your libido and how to manage it more effectively. The idea here is that the steps of Tantra teach you how to harness your sexual energy so that your libido is giving you more energy throughout the day. This will help you feel more balanced and more at peace, rather than draining you or frustrating you :-
1. PORNOGRAPHY: There's quite a number of factors which are not immediately obvious that can actually reduce your libido. My top tip is to look at how much pornography is in your life. This is quite a controversial topic (to porn or not to porn) BUT I feel quite strongly about its effects. Yes watching a pornographic film can certainly do the trick in getting you spontaneously aroused in the right-here-and-now - however - this instant arousal is short lived. The kick you get from watching pornography has no long-lasting power behind it. It also provides no idea about how this arousal happened in the first place. Pornography only fuels the fast & furious “blowtorch” on-and-off style of sexual energy. This is not a sustainable form of sexual energy – it has no depth except to scratch a momentary itch, and gives no clue as to how to re-create that sexual energy later, or even how to tap into it. Yes there is a healthier alternative and I talk more about this topic in my course.
TIP: reduce or stop pornography and notice your sex drive increase as well as a greater ability to control your sexual urges – with less and less porn (or nil), you will feel more and more sexy over time while your sexual energy takes on a vastly different quality – Tantra is about sustainable and sustained sexual energy that is far deeper and far more satisfying than the sexual energy that is generated through the use of pornography.
Are you ready to dive in and super-charge your life? We are ready to support you and to help you strenthen and manage your sexual energy, both as a Single and as a Couple.
At Sparkle Tantra, we offer the trusted wisdom of Tantra two ways...
- At Home... try our “Tantra for Couples Webinar” which is suitable for both Couples and Singles and no prior experience is necessary. This step-by-step online course allows you to discover skills and a pathway for more intimacy in the privacy of your own home. This webinar is a series of pre-recorded videos that you can stop and start at any time and watch on your phone, TV or laptop.
- 1-on-1... if you would prefer your own private sessions, work with Francesca one-on-one as either a Couple or a Single and she will guide you with customised sessions to suit your own personal needs. These one-on-one sessions are available over Skype, over the phone or in person. Reach out to Francesca for a chat about how she can help you at [email protected]
We look forward to connecting with you at Sparkle Tantra soon